literature

Claws of Fire Ch. 1

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"Ugh... My head. Where do I begin?* I take a deep breath. "My name is Clyde Bowman, and I am a Pokéuman. You may be asking yourself, "What is a Pokéuman?" But you'll know soon enough. My species is a Blaziken, and I started my transformation the Fall following my 18th birthday." I turn in my seat and gaze out the open window, then continue. "Life was good before the transformation. I had a good education, a loving and large family, and friends that would take a bullet for me as I would for them. I lived with hardly a care in the world. So peaceful, so oblivious, so blissfully ignorant." I take a break before starting again. "In my time on this Earth, I have learned far more then I should be able to comprehend. One thing relevant that I'm sure of... There is always a war going on somewhere, and someone willing to fight it."

In a dream, deep in sleep. "Ok... Time to get to work. What is next on the list?" I sit in my office, overlooking the factory of my "dream life", reading the list. "Spray-on bombproofing, better armor on tanks, Lighter metals for the navy... Let's test the bomb proofing." I said, making my choice. "Now where is that detonator? ... There it is!" I reach for it, but stop in shock at my left hand. "What the heck?! It looks like a claw." I sit down and question it for a while. "I guess since this is still JUST a dream, so there has to be something that doesn't fit." I reach for the detonator again, dismissing the claw, but before touching it, I'm awoken to a loud bang across the street. "Agh! PARKER!!!" I yell in rage, going to the window of my room. "Dang it Parker, Why do you have to do shooting practice at 2AM?! Go back to bed or I'll really show you how to use that!" As I lay back on the bed, I feel my skin on my hand as I lay it to my side. "Huh? I know I'm not that abrasive." I pull it from the covers and stare in shock at the clawed hand. It's rough yet smoother on the palm, and it only has three digits, thankfully a thumb is still one of them. It bears a striking resemblance to a Blaziken's claw. "This is just weird... Why does my hand look like a Blaziken's claw? Agh. I'll need to find that out later. Something is just telling me I need to leave and go far away from here." I look back at the claw again. "I need to stay hidden, minimal contact, and be on the lookout for something that is suspicious. I need to prepare." I go and get dressed, and grab all the money I think I'll need. About $200. "Wait, I can't just leave without reason. That would be too conspicuous. ... I'll leave a note." I go and write the note, explaining in detail to my mom that I'm running away to join the military, and to not try to find me, but that I'll find her when I'm ready. "She'll trust me. I WILL be back someday." I sigh, taking one last look around, then grabs my grandfather's pocket watch, money, heavy coat and back pack of supplies and food, then leave. I left everything behind and I run off into the night, heading for where ever my actions take me.

I ran for about half an hour to get to the bus station. Fortunately it stays open 24-7 for long distance trips. Back to current events... I'm out of breath and in need of a break. "I can rest... when I'm safe... or dead." I walk up to the ticket booth and pay for the ticket, then walk off for the bus stop, watching the time on my pocketwatch. "165 dollars for a bus ride?! I could fly there cheaper! ... But I would come into heavy contact with authorities, people, and whoever may have something to do with me." I sigh in relief as I manage to keep myself socially unnoticed. "It's about 3:30am now. That bus should be here any minute." I look around, and notice I'm the only one out at this hour. This is typical, but I feel exposed and vulnerable. The bus rides up over the hill and stops in front of me with a hiss, the driver looks tired, like he drove from LA to here nonstop. "Excellent timing sir. One for Worcester." I board the bus, it being completely empty and I notice his records say he doesn't get many passengers. He yawns and closes the door, adding my fare to the short list. "... Hey buddy. Need some coffee?" I reach into the bag and pull out a self-heating mocha, keeping my claw well hidden. "Thanks, I need some of that." The driver says blankly. I toss it to his and he catches it. "Have the whole thing. I don't want to die in some late night bus crash on the freeway." I smirk as I say that. "Yeah, yeah..." He grumbles and starts drinking it before we finally pull out. I stare out of the window as the station grows smaller and smaller till it is completely out of sight. "Good bye my home, my family, my old hopes and dreams. I'll see you all again someday. ... Someday..." I finally drift off to sleep, riding off to my newest and greatest adventure, and a new life.
My first story ever posted on the internet. Right here on DA. And I have many people to thank. But I'll start with these two: :iconjd02022092: for all his support and :iconpokemonmanic3595: for making Pokeumans.
Pokemon belong to Nintendo

Please give me feedback on this! I never did this before! :D
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DarkEternalShadows's avatar
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star: Originality
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

I love how this story started. The beginning as an attention getter that just sucks you right in from the start and that's so important in any story. Not only does the beginning pull you in, but the events following keep your mind intrigued to keep reading along. The only thing I would suggest (as someone else also said) was to write each line of dialogue on a new line. Otherwise, fantastic work. I can't wait to see where it goes!! Very exciting and captivating! Keep it up. You have a powerful imagination, and that's so wonderful for this story.